Relentlessly Trying...

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I must say, I now know what people mean when they say they're going off the grid. That's where I've spent the past few months since going back to work. I've been relentlessly trying to find time to post, relentlessly trying to get pregnant and relentlessly trying to sell our condo....all in 2 months. Crazy right?

So with all this trying, I'm not doing much doing. Well, I'm doing work on the condo, that's about it. Finishing and fixing and making sure it's show worthy.

I feel like I've been in my own little black hole lately. I haven't really wanted to go out much, just wanting to stay in and watch SVU..speaking of, interesting story happend which interrupted my first two paragraphs of this post.

So here's the sidebar story...my friend that lives in my complex and I both walk our dogs around the area and she tries to keep the woods area behind our complex clean...why, I don't know, but she does. So I joked to her the other day that she'll probably find a dead body or bones back there some day, sure as shit, she calls me just as I finished the first paragraph of this entry to tell me to get my ass outside out back because she found bones. Whether or not they were animal or human, we don't know. But we called the cops and then the cops brought in detectives. I all of a sudden felt like I was in an episode of Law & Order: SVU and Munch and Stabler were checkin out what we found. We were dismissed shortly after, so we'll never know unless we see it on the news..LOL.

Annnnnyyywayyys. Moving on. That's pretty much all the fun and excitement that's been going on in my life lately. I don't have much to talk about, don't have much to joke about, but give me a few more days and I'm sure I'll have alot to vent about. I start injections for IVF on Saturday....I know I'll wanna vent about that..LOL.

Super(commercial)bowl Sunday

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Wow, it's been a whole week since my last post. I guess that's what happens when you start a new job, which I did last week. So, I guess I need to figure out my schedule to get my blogs in =).

It's Superbowl Sunday and to be truthful, I could give a shit about the game. I don't know anything about football, I don't like football and I'm only in it today for the booze and commercials. Hey, at least I'm honest. I'm also looking forward to making my buffalo chicken dip..I haven't made that in a long time.

So speaking of supercommercialbowl sunday, it seems like this year's Nipplegate is the commercials. There was a commercial for a gay dating website that got 86'd, but they'll allow a pro life commercial?!? It's gotta be because Tim "crybaby" Tebow is in it. Why? Why? WHY push your personal agenda of pro life down my throat, major tv network, but don't allow another's lifestyle on the air? WTF is that about? Seriously. At least they let Planned Parenthood step up and air a Pro Choice commercial to give the other side of the spectrum. Can you immagine the uproar if the network hadn't let that happen? Unreal. How they think absolutely amazes me...."let's run multimillion dollar spots about abortion, but fuck that gay dating website spot...that's gross. we don't want people to think we're ok with being gay...let's push our anti abortion agenda on them instead...that's not as bad" You might think I'm exagerating, but I'm not.
Whatever.
On to my newest favorite thing. John Mayer. Don't get me wrong, I've been into John Mayer's hottness since he sexed it up with "Your Body is a Wonderland", but now I've discovered that he is an AMAZING soundbyte.
I keep up on the whole pop culture scene and do alot of reading to prep for my show at K104 and two weeks in a row, John has spit out some serious gems. Last week there was a story about how he spoke out about musicians/celebs that try to be what they're not with putting out clothing lines and perfumes. He says

“Who out there really goes, ‘You know what, I just fucking love perfumes. I always have since I was a kid. If I weren’t a pop singer, I’d be a perfumier…’? I’m not diversifying in terms of selling anything. I’m not selling ‘John Mayer: the cologne’. If I did it would just smell like sausage and sleep,”

Awesome.
Then this week to my delight, another great John Mayer soundbyte gem. This time about Tiger Woods. He says,

"Tiger Woods' problems come from him being married. The End. If Tiger Woods was single and he texted a girl and said 'I wanna wear your ass like a hat', why would that ever hit the news? I can text whatever I want to anybody in the world; I'm not married. I write alot of dirty text messages to girls, and you've never seen any of them"

I for one would love to either A)be a recipient of one of these dirty txts or B) at least be able to see them. HA!
Cheers to you John Mayer, you crazy sonofabitch! I look forward to next week's soundbyte gem!

Bad life decisions vs. Good life decisions...

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Good Mornin' y'all! It's Sunday funday and although there's no football today(not that I care about that anyways)I've still got some fun for your Sunday. Today's fun is about bad decisions and good decisions. While looking through the show prep stuff at K104, I came across this awesome video. OK, maybe being a janitor isn't the best life decision, but the way he uses certain things to his advantage is...check it out.


Efficiency at it's best!!
Now...for today's very very bad life decision. We all know Kelis has been known for some flamboyant outfits, but this is just creepy. I was trolling TMZ this morning and found this ...

WTF?!?
Seriously, that's all I could think! What. The. Fudge.
Really Kelis? Do you really wanna look like a sea monkey? And what the hell are those shoes? They look downright uncomfortable. And just wrong. If you've ever seen the movie I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, then you must remember this scene after the pimp gets released from jail..

Tell me those fish shoes don't remind you of the shoes Kelis has on in that pic above! You can't. HA!
On that note, back to my show I go. Give us a listen online! K104 Online

Things I thought I'd never see....

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Happy Saturday everyone! It's a freezing cold Saturday, but at least it's the weekend...and one of my last days of unemployment. But that's not the point of this post...I shall move on and get to the point.

The ever boring and becoming extinct Miss America pagent is coming up and apparently there was something with preliminaries and the judges or some crap like that, but the end result was this WTF type video that left my jaw on the floor and slightly mentally scarred.

What the--?? I missed Motivational Monday?

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It is apparent that amongst the excitement of Ghettotainment, I forgot about Motivational Monday. Partially I guess, because I was slightly motivated yesterday. I got up nice and early, got dressed up all pretty and drove down to Trumbull in the middle of a monsoon to go to a job fair.

I had preregistered online two weeks prior and still had to stand in this HUGE ASS line when I got there. I was able to head in for a seminar I wanted to go to in which I got to call out the guy from the DOL when he started selling the fact that there are WIA(workforce investment act) dollars available to the unemployed for reskilling. I promptly raised my hand after his schpeel about it during the Q&A and quite proudly called him out on it. The truth about the WIA money is that, if you got laid off in late '08 or very early '09, you might have a chance at money...but if you didn't get laid off and get your dislocated worker certification early enough, you got screwed - like I did.

*cue the tangent from my original point*

"Ghettotainment"....WTF?

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Hey fellow bloggies and readers! I left you with a word to savor last night and I promised I'd be back to give you more detail...and as promised, here I am!

I love Wanda Sykes's Saturday night show on Fox and on the segment called the WandaBar, they talked about this new thing in LA called the Gang Tours. I had to do a double take and rewind the DVR a little to make sure I heard it right.

Yup, you heard it folks! People used to go to LA to buy maps to the homes of celebrities, now you get a map of the gang grounds. No kidding.
You can pay $65, get on a bus that will drive you through the gang turfs of LA. There's gotta be some sort of release you have to sign before getting on that bus - "we reserve the right to not take the blame if you get shot and die. Take this tour at your own risk. Who is your next of kin?" But for those of you who are unemployed and wanna do things on the cheap, just roll up the windows and take a drive through Compton and risk getting shot at for free! Same experience, save yourself $65, no? But then again, I guess you wouldn't get the "I got shot in South Central" tshirt you would've been getting after getting shot with water guns on the South Central bus stop(read: ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS?!?). Another added bonus, you're encouraged to have your picture taken with ex-gang members recruited to sit next to passangers on the bus(read:AGAIN, ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS??!?) So, something tells me this is so not a good idea, but I leave you to judge that one yourself...lol.


Want to check out all the crazy ass details for yourself? Check this out

One word before I go to bed...

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 'Ghettotainment'

Savor in that for a while...soak it in and I'll be back tomorrow to elaborate....